Repo Man (Version 2) by Jackie Spitfire
Based on a true story about an opportunistic man with a lust for beautiful ladies.
Washington
I crunch into second and the truck rumbles along Mandela Avenue as I try and find number 42. My phone’s sat nav seems to have given up in the heat. This stinking Chigwell housing estate, a human sewer in the heart of Essex, is a labyrinth of tiny high-density housing, each bungalow barely more than a static caravan.
It is difficult to see house numbers past the skips and broken washing machines and deflated paddling pools abandoned in the overgrown front gardens. The blinding sun doesn’t help and I can feel sweat under my balls and asshole.
Finally I spot the car I have come to repossess and pull up behind it. I know it’s registered to Dwayne Hyde who bought it with a big bank loan. My research on Facebook confirmed that he recently walked out on his wife Yvonne, and that she’s having a tough time. She was probably pissed when posting all the unguarded confessions about her depression and how her daughter was in pieces. A broken woman in her forties with no money and no hope. I light a cigarette, pull some official looking papers from the glove box and attach them to my clipboard. The beers I downed at lunch make me feel immensely powerful, but I always get anxious before breaking bad news and I take deep, calming breaths.
After ringing the doorbell I scan the rat run street. It’s deserted and I start banging the door with my fist. When I hear the locks clicking I brace myself, and as the door opens I put my foot over the threshold in case she tries to slam it in my face.
Making eye contact, I say ‘Mrs Hyde?’ in a serious tone of voice.
Mrs Hyde has a fag dangling from her mouth. She is wearing a pink vest and leggings that are so tight I can see her knickers. Her long dirty blonde hair is pulled back in the ‘Glasgow facelift’ style and she has a tattoo of a mermaid on her forearm.
‘Who the fuck’s asking?’
‘My name is Washington. From Carlton Debt Enforcers. I’m here about the Nissan LEAF.’
‘Yeah, that’s my car so you can fuck right off you robbing bastard.’
She seems close to the edge, her words slurred.
‘I don’t want no trouble Mrs Hyde. But I’m here to take the car. I have a Court Order that empowers me to repossess it unless you can pay the arrears, which are over eighteen hundred pounds.’ As I say this I point at my clipboard.
Mrs Hyde doesn’t ask to check my credentials. They never do.
‘But my husband, my ex husband, takes care of that. This is harassment, I don’t owe you bastards a penny!’
‘I know this isn’t easy, but I need the keys. I’m totally serious, this is happening.’ I say this as gently as I can because Yvonne’s breathing has changed, like she’s about to break down in tears. ‘Look why don’t you let me in and we can talk about this?’
She leads me into a kitchenette which is open plan into a tiny living area where a young woman is lying on a sofa in the shadow of a 60 inch TV. She’s wearing headphones and a thin beach kaftan over a little bikini.
‘I see this has come as a shock. You know I’m just doing my job.’
‘Look Washington, I didn’t mean to be a bitch just now but Dwayne, my ex, promised he’d keep up the payments.’
I tower over Yvonne in the cramped space and sit down on a stool so I don’t intimidate her too much. ‘I know, life can be pretty tough sometimes,’ I say, managing a smile to develop rapport.
Yvonne sighs and offers me a drink which is very kind in the circumstances. I expect that she might stretch to a cup of tea, but she says she wants something stronger and I’m too selfish to object. When she bends over to rummage in the freezer the top of her thong is visible and I realise she isn’t wearing a bra as her breasts push against her vest. After topping up her glass she pours me a cold vodka and sits across from me at the breakfast bar.
‘Cheers!’ I say, genuinely grateful for the hospitality. ‘And I am sorry that I’ve got to take your car. I know that this housing estate is pretty isolated.’
Yvonne puts a hand over her eyes and nods slowly as she starts explaining how she recently lost her job at the supermarket. For some reason she also offloads about how Dwayne recently moved in with her sister and as she speaks, choking back tears, all I can do is stare at her pale cleavage. I’m wondering if her pussy is shaved, hoping it isn’t, and somehow manage to ask how her daughter is taking the breakup.
‘That’s the real fucking problem,’ says Yvonne, emptying her glass. ‘My Pauline’s in a real bad way. She just mopes around indoors all day. Got no friends. It breaks my heart to see her so unhappy.’
I look at the girl on the sofa. She seems to be in a trance and I doubt she’s even noticed me.
‘She’s a beautiful girl, I bet she’s popular with the boys.’
‘It’s not like that. Not at her college.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She goes to a special college. You know, for people who are a bit different.’
‘What, like gifted kids or something?’
‘No, a college for kids with special needs. You see my Pauline was born blind and the doctors say she her brain is a bit slow. She’ll be nineteen next birthday but they won’t even let her graduate until she passes her exams.’
‘Shit I’m sorry to hear that,’ I say, offering Yvonne a cigarette. ‘But what’s a slow brain meant to mean?’
Yvonne looks across at her little angel. ‘You know, she’s what they call retarded. I don’t know the full medical terms but she can be a moody little cow and she behaves like a crazy bitch half the time, swearing and doing stupid embarrassing shit.’
‘I’m sure the doctors will be able to fix her brain one day.’
‘I doubt it. You want to see how the boys on the estate talk to her, saying she’s a cabbage and yanking her knickers down because they know she’ll let them.’
I exhale sympathetically and hold Yvonne’s hand. ‘That’s probably just because they like her. Deep down.’
‘All I know is that I’ve got a disabled daughter and without a car our lives are fucked. Her college is miles away and I can’t get her there without a car.’
I squeeze Yvonne’s hand and say, ‘I’m so sorry sweetheart. Come on, it’ll probably be okay.’
As expected, my kind words act like a trigger and she starts crying. Blood floods my cock. It’s at a strange angle in my shorts so I stand up and move behind her so I can massage her shoulders. She seems okay with the physical intimacy and I make encouraging comments about clouds and silver linings. She bows her head as my fingers caress the nape of her neck, then move down her spine. Her daughter is lying on her back and the kaftan barely covers her body. Her hairless legs are long and lightly tanned and I can’t help wondering if she’s still a virgin.
Yvonne has stopped crying and asks me to continue the massage.
‘I might have an idea,’ I say, lifting her hands onto her head so I can massage her armpits. ‘Something that might buy you some time. Maybe I can help you guys.’
‘Oh Washington I beg you to help us. Please, you can’t take our Nissan LEAF it’s all we’ve got.’
I am fully erect, looming over Yvonne, staring down her vest at the shape of her nipples. ‘I can’t promise, but if I can make this shit disappear for a couple of weeks you might be able to straighten things out with your Dwayne, get that bastard to pay up. He might hate you, but surely he’ll take pity on his disabled blind daughter.’
‘You really think you can do that? I don’t want you getting into no trouble.’
My hands slide lower, now massaging her exposed cleavage. Her body feels soft and warm under my fingers. ‘It’s possible, but I’m risking my job. I have a wife and kids and my own pressures.’ This is a lie, but usually very effective.
‘You’re a decent man Washington. I know we ain’t nothing to you, but you can see I’m desperate. I’ll do anything to get a bit of extra time.’
Like so many times before I know that I can now say or do anything to this poor creature.
‘Okay, I’ve got an idea. I really want to help, but I’m just a simple man with primitive urges that sometimes make me tense. If you can satisfy my needs then I will do my best to delay repossessing you car. What do you think?’
‘Name your price.’
I don’t reply at first. Instead I ease my fingers under her vest, pressing gently against her fleshy boobs. Her nipples are thick like a child’s thumb. I circle them before cupping each tit in my big hands. Her chest rises and falls and I feel her heartbeat quicken.
Speaking in a low voice I say, ‘Why don’t you go change out of those clothes into a pretty bra and panties. And maybe you can freshen up with some deodorant, and brush your teeth. Then I want you to follow my instructions without challenge. Can you do that?’
‘But what about my daughter if we’re carrying on?’
‘It’ll be okay. We can be real discrete.’ I notice that Pauline has inadvertently spread her legs so I can see her white bikini knickers. ‘And even if she does notice something I promise I’ll look after her. She’ll be totally fine.’
I sense that the tip of my cock is wet and stop the massage so I can pour us another vodka. Yvonne stands to face me, her cheeks flushed as she glances at the lump in my shorts. ‘Look, why don’t you wait in the garden while I get changed. I’ll tell Pauline that I’ve got a guest so she won’t shit herself if she hears your voice.’
We step outside into a small fenced garden that is not overlooked. There’s some garden furniture and a barbecue in a lawned area, and I sit down on a metal chair. Yvonne leaves me with the vodka and goes back in to have a word with Pauline and get ready for me. I light another cigarette and lower my shorts so they are round my ankles. My cock looks like a weapon fashioned from graphite, veins thick and proud, foreskin drawn back revealing a glistening head. The vodka is making me feel warm and uninhibited and I play with the underside of the tip like it’s a gigantic clitoris. Expecting that Yvonne will be tarting herself up for a while I load some porn onto my phone and smile as I watch some randy boy anally raping his auntie while her husband wanks in a corner.
Moments like this make my life tolerable. I am careful not to over stimulate my erection but can’t help spitting on my palm and stroking the shaft.
